駄目・彗

Sometimes I hope I was born to be orphan
So I can commit suicide without thinking
Sometimes I hope I was born without my parent
Because I dont want to be a burden
Sometimes I hope I was born with a careless parent
So I have someone to blame
But in the end I was born with a parent
And I must suffer any feeling inside me without giving up
In the end I was born with my parent
And I must make them proud
And in the end I was born with a great parent
And I must be a great child for them
And in the end I am willing to give a hundred litre tears of mine from 17 years I lived just to make them smile for 17 seconds , because they are proud of me.

aku tak tahu kapan semua ini berjalan
kapan hal hal itu telah terjadi
apa yang ada di sini tak bisa kuhitung lagi
tenggelam dalam rasa hampa di ruang yang tak terlihat ini
mencoba berlari tapi hanya ada dinding menghadap
apa kah semua ini nyata
bahkan ilusi tak kan pernah segelap ini
lubang lubang itu tak pernah terisi
dalam dan terhanyut seketika
tak ada apa-apa
semua ini kabut
hanya ada banyangan yang tak terlihat di sampingku

The title for this post I took from Ed Sheeran's Music Video of All of The Stars. But I changed a little. And please dont forget this post is inspired from that song. But at the first Im sorry if this poetry still suck and flat. Especially for the grammar. But please dont blame me bcause I make this when Im really upset and sad. But if I have a time I'll repair this poetry.

I saw a yesterday.
And I'll see tomorrow.
But I know what I have to face is today.
And I look what I had.
My life next to me. And the starry sky above me.
I always have a dream. And it always be a guide star to me. But I know today I must face that theres a fault in my star.
The star is shrinking to be a little ball that I cant never see again. And when the sky is become dark I see a little light again. I follow it , think that it can guide me again. And when I think I've closer, the light become brighter. Brighter. And brighter again. It blinds me make me unsteady. Then I feel a force pull me to that light. But when I open my eyes. Ive realised that theres no light anymore. The sky is more darker than I ve ever seen. It so strong that can make me fall before I winked. I just cried. Then fall more deeper.
Fall in black hole that I cant escaped.
Every gravity pulled me down. Every gravity tied me down. Make me empty. Flat. Away. And small. The event horizon is nothing I can see. Just a memory I have, just a dream I have. That I'll break this nature law. And see what a gravity can exactly do to me.

(ini curhatan anak galau yg Alhamdulillah udah lulus sma pd hari ini juga. Sungguh saya sangat bersyukur bisa lulus. Tapi Kenapa galau? Karena banyak hal. Ranking. Kalau itu adil dan memang karena saya sangat lah bodoh itu tidak apa". Sungguh saya tau diri. Tapi ini krn kesalahan sy yg tdk mgmbl jalan itu. Dan sbnrnya saya tidak menyesal telah mengambil jalan yg sangat berbeda ini dr teman" saya. Karena saya tau itulah jalan yg seharusny saya tempuh. Saya sedih bukan karena menyesal tapi karena saya kesal. Just think that Im a loser or anything like that. But remember when I grow up I'll break this nature law of humanity especially in Indonesia. But more especially if it involves me :P )

Saat kau membuka matamu dan melihat sesuatu yang tak bisa kau lakukan. Mendengarkan  sesuatu yang tak bisa kau dapatkan. Dan inti mu tak stabil seperti hendak memancarkan sinar radioaktif. Kau mengetahui bahwa kau harus melakukannya. Kau juga mengetahui bahwa kau sangat menginginkannya. Tapi yang terjadi , kau tak bisa melakuakannya. Kau tak tahu bagaimana cara nya melakukan itu. Apa rumus nya? Apa teorinya? Semua itu seperti pelajaran yang tak kan pernah kau dapatkan. Kau menangis dalam diam tanpa bergema. Tanpa ada yang mengetahui, materi gelap telah mengambil seluruh cahayamu. Dunia mu hampa. Saat itu juga, Tak ada yang lagi yang bisa memantulkan cahaya untukmu.

(sebelumnya saya seorang yang memilki agama, dan pastinya percaya dengan tuhan. Post ini bukan dibuat untuk hal hal yang tidak baik seperti diskriminasi atau mengejek  agama maupun bersifat musyrik. Post ini dibuat dari pikiran yang ditanam di kepala saya yang cukup radikal)

Hidup? Suatu hal yang tak terlihat, tapi terasakan. Antara nyata atau ilusi. Mengalir seperti arus sungai. Dan yang membedakannya hanya 2. Ikut mengalir mengikuti arus atau melawan arus. Tapi sebenarnya masih ada banyak , salah satunya melompat dari arus sungai itu dan pergi kedaratan. Walaupun itu hal yang mustahil. Mesti memiliki kekuatan khusus untuk melakukannya. Tapi sebenarnya apa arti hidup? Apakah saat kita mati baru kita bisa mengetahui arti dari hidup? Tak bisakah mengetahuinya saat kita hidup sekarang? Hidup itu berhubungan jelas dengan agama. Karena hidup kita sendiri dibuat oleh 'sang pencipta'. Tapi bagaimana kita mau mengetahui apa hidup itu sebelum kita mengetahui siapa ' sang pencipta' itu. Tak terlihat. Tak terdengar. Tak terketahui. Seperti gravitasi, kita hanya bisa mengetahui 'akibat' Nya. Yaitu lahirnya sebuah kehidupan. Yaitu kita. Bisakah kita mempercayai 'sang pencipta' kita 100% tanpa pernah melihatnya? Sungguh, mungkin terdengar tak tahu diri. Tapi sepertinya, tidak ada yang 100% di dunia ini. Kita mungkin hanya yakin 99,9%. Karena 0,1% persen itu pasti akan muncul saat kita terpukul, terjatuh dan kesepian. Menanyakan dimana kah 'sang pencipta'?

Ciao
I keep my promise!!! In this post , I'll tell you about my favorite serial novel. Most novels are NY times bestseller and Young-Adult(YA) but I want to warn you that I'm not fan of most popular novel like Harry Potter, Twilight and ofc The Hunger Games. And I'm sorry if I make false information
SO LETS BEGIN

1. Mortal Instrument
Author: Cassanda Clare (USA)
Genres: YA, Fantasy, Supernatural, and ofc Romance ( but theres a slight of yaoi in this novel :D )
Have 6 books ( I have all of them except the sixth book, because it will be released on May 27, 2014)
My Rating: ****(4,5/5)
The first novel that make me a hardcore fans :D
I really love this novel. The story is good. This novel is like a combination of Twilight and Harry Potter. There are Nephilim (human with blood of angel), Vampire, Werewolf, Warlock, Devil and many more. Fantasy is everywhere, characters feel like a live, and the jokes are funny and cool. I like Jace character, he kinda cool and sarcasm. And he kinda remind me to Will, the character of the prequel of this series, Infernal Devices. I love both of them. They acted like bad boys, but they are really good guy-too good for a guy.
This novel has been adapted to Movie too, with same name of the first book, City of Bones. The main girl, Clary , played by Lily Collins (have watched her at Abduction -with Taylor Lautner, Mirror Mirror, and Priest), and main boy, Jace played by Jamie Bower (have watched him at Camelot , Twilight and Harry Potter -see? Even the actor is same! They are connected! Whoa) but seriously, this story is much better. But still, the novel is much better than the movie. The only thing I like about this movie is the soundtrack by our best cute female singer, ARIANA GRANDE!! Because this movie , I turned to be a fans of her. Her voice, her face, her song, omg. She's like an angel to me.  And theres something that I like about Cassanda Clare, she always mentions Anime and Manga in every novel. Seriously? Although I never watch/read animanga again, what I like right now is still connected with Anime/Manga. All hail to anime~

2. Vampire Academy
Author: Richelle Mead
Genre: YA, Fantasy, Supernatural, Romance
My Rating: **** (4,5/5)
Have 6 books and hell, I only have 2 books so far, the first and third. Still couldnt find the second book, only have the ebook.
One of the best vampire story ever. Like Tiwilight? Vampire Diaries? The Morganville Vampires?  Or maybe our greatest animanga ever, Vampire Knight? No. They re different! Really different. In Vampire Academy, there're many kind of vampires here. Like strigoi, dhampir and moroi. The main character , named Rose. I really liked her. She is cool and funny. The main guy is Dimitri. And for the sake of World he is russian! The adapted movie will be played at cinema on valentine's  day, 14 Feb 2014. And on the trailer I really like Zoey Deutch (Rose), she really suits to be Rose!!

3. Divergent
Author: Veronica Roth
Genre: YA, Dystopia, Romance
Have 3 books ( only have two, the third books is still not avaiable in a bookstore in here)
My Rating: ****(4,25/5)
The best dystopian novel that I've ever read. More greater than The Hunger Games (IMO).
Theres no love triangle in 2 novels so far, and its really rare for YA popular novel. And I like it! The story followed, when the world divide by 4 faction.  The main girl, Tris, when she grows up, she move to another faction and meet a guy named Four or Tobias. The adapted movie will be played at cinema on March 2014.

4. Delirium
Author: Lauren Oliver
Genre: Dystopia, YA, Romance
My Rating : **** (4/5)
Have 3 books. But like the other series, I only have 2. The third book still unavaible in here.
Dystopia? Of course! But what makes it different with another novel? Its about when a world WITHOUT LOVE. Love is disease. Love is forbidden!!! If you've grow up you'll be married to guy you can choose from government's choise. Even love from mother is disease too. Isnt that crazy? The adapted movie is not screened on cinema but TV. HELL YEAH, its a tv movie. And because of that the information is still blurred.

5. Robert Langdon
Author: Dan Brown
Genre: Adult, Mystery, Thriller
My Rating : ****(4,5/5)
Have 4 books. Have read all of them. But shit, I didnt have the first one, only the Ebook.
Even its the highest rating, I took it at last list, cause its really different with the rest. Its not YA, not romance. But the best book I've ever read. Everything written here is really look real, the historical theory, the mystery and everything. And there are 2 adapted movies. They are great too. Amazing is a synonym for this book :P

Mission accomplished!
Sorry, for not having a picture. I upload this post by my tablet, so maybe next time I'll add it later. Btw merry christmas!! And happy holiday!!

• Genres: Action, Mystery, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Shoujo


• Producer: Manglobe


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Mecha


• Producer: Sunrise, Aniplex


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Sci-Fi


• Producer: Production I.G


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Adventure, Fantasy, Shounen


• Producer: Satelight


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Demons, Supernatural


• Producer: Mainichi Broadcasting, Pony Canyon, Atlus, Bridge, Devil Survivor 2 Animation Committee, Index


• Will start on March 2, 2013

• Genres: Action, Drama, Fantasy, Super Power


• Producer: Production I.G, Mainichi Broadcasting, Pony Canyon, Kodansha, Wit Studio, Shingeki no Kyojin Team


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Romance, School


• Producer: Madhouse Studios, TBS, Enterbrain, BS-TBS


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Action, Fantasy, Romance, Seinen


• Producer: Studio Gokumi


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Drama, Romance, School, Psychological


• Producer: Starchild Records, Zexcs


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Comedy, Demons, Romance, Shounen


• Producer: Lantis, Pony Canyon, White Fox


• Will start in April 2013

• Genres: Mecha, Romance, School, Sci-Fi, Shounen


• Producer: AIC Plus+, Nippon Columbia


• Will start on March 16, 2013

• Genres: Fantasy


• Producer: P.A. Works


• Will start on March 16, 2013

• Genres: Action, Mecha, School, Sci-Fi, Seinen


• Producer: Dogakobo


• Will start in April 2013